13 Kesetaraan Laki-laki dan Perempuan dalam Pernikahan (Bagian II)


kartun ber25. Kesetaraan Jasmani dan Seksual

Kesetaraan atau kesesuaian/keserasian  jasmani dan seksual (jenis kelamin/jender) antara suami-isteri berperan  penting terhadap kelangsungan rumah tangga. Dalam hal ini masalah seksual merupakan (salah satu) sendi terpenting.

Kepuasaan seksual tersebut  berpengaruh  besar bagi keberhasilan  membina rumah tangga.  Sebaliknya, tidak adanya kepuasan seksual di antara mereka berpotensi melemahkan tegaknya bangunan rumah tangga.

Dengan demikian, jika satu sama lain saling merasakan kepuasan seksual, maka  akan tercipta ketenangan. Dampaknya, suami-isteri (masing-masing) dapat melaksanakan tugas dan kewajiban dengan baik, dan juga mampu menanggung  beban kehidupan.

Sebaliknya, jika tidak ada kepuasaan seksual, maka berpotensi  menimbulkan ketidakharmonisan, bahkan berkurangnya semangat melaksanakan tugas dan tanggung jawab rumah tangga.

6. Kesetaraan dalam Keindahan

Kesetaraan dan keserasian antara suami-isteri dalam hal keindahan wajah, anggota tubuh, dan penampilan lahiriah juga merupakan suatu hal yang perlu dipertimbangkan.

Jika salah satu dari keduanya berwajah indah dan berpostur tubuh serasi, sedangkan yang lain adalah sebaliknya, maka ada kemungkinan akan menimbulkan ketidakharmonisan  bagi keduanya, di antaranya  kurangnya gairah seksual, terjadinya penyimpangan seksual, dan  kurang terpeliharanya kesucian diri  (dan berbagai dampak buruk lainnya).

7. Kesetaraan Usia

Dalam memilih pasangan hidup juga diperlukan  kesetaraan dan keserasian dalam hal usia (umur), meskipun perbedaan usia dan kematangan pada laki-laki dan perempuan adalah relatif (sulit dirasionalisasikan).

Umumnya, usia kematangan seksual laki-laki adalah sekitar empat tahun lebih lambat dibandingkan  perempuan. Atas dasar ini sebaiknya perbedaan usia di antara keduanya (dalam pernikahan) mengacu  pada perbedaan angka kematangan seksual tersebut.

Oleh karena itu “kesetaraan usia” — antara laki-laki dan perempuan dalam sebuah keluarga — tidak identik “kesamaan usia” karena ada “perbedaan usia”  dalam “kesetaran” tersebut.

8. Kesetaraan Harta Kekayaan

Ada kaidah umum bahwa “kurang  maslahat  jika antara laki-laki, perempuan, dan keluarga mereka (masing-masing) memilki  perbedaan mencolok  dalam  harta kekayaan”.

Harus diakui, sering  ditemui bahwa harta dan kekayaan yang dimiliki mendorong sikap/sifat sombong, angkuh, mengungkit-ungkit pemberian, menghina, merendahkan phak lain, dan sebagainya.

9. Kesetaraan Keluarga

Pernikahan dengan seseorang  berarti  menjalin hubungan dengan sebuah keluarga, sanak kerabat, dan generasi yang berbeda. Oleh karena itu, keluarga laki-laki dan perempuan harus saling memiliki kesetaraan dalam hal agama, sosial, akhlak, dan sebagainya.



[Dirangkum oleh www.sorotparlemen.com (22/9/2015) dari buku “Kita Memilih Pasangan” karya Ali Akbar Mazhahiri].

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